Dwindling Motivation

"Now you wouldn't believe me if I told you, but I could run like the wind blows! From that day on if I was ever going somewhere I was running."

Well, it would seem that I do not have Forrest Gump's passion for running. Understatement of the year. I really wish I did, and that is why I am extremely disappointed in myself... I will not be running my marathon tomorrow, or the half-marathon that I down-graded it to a month ago, or the 5K that I could sign up for in its place. And I feel relieved. And frustrated. And did I mention disappointed? But honestly truly... Mostly relieved.

Just not prepared. Haven't been running. When faced with the opportunity to either go run or do something - anything else, I have chosen to do the something/anything else. Not that they were bad choices!

I picked sleep, making meals for my family, working an extra shift to pay for a root canal, sleep, and just relaxing.

I think I really like the IDEA of running. I like how I feel AFTER I run (certainly not during.) and I did feel like I was accomplishing something. I had goals and I met some of them! And now here's a goal that I did not meet because frankly I lost my motivation to get prepared for it. I do NOT like that my knees hurt and that my hip is now feeling weird and that I feel like I let someone down. When my husband asks me "Just who do you think is disappointed in you besides you?" I have to honestly say, "No one." And then he says, "Exactly."

But I guess I'm my own worst critic.

My mother is relieved probably more than me because she thinks it's incomprehensible to CHOOSE to run somewhere that would take you more than half an hour to DRIVE to.

But what an accomplishment! To say that I've done it, at least once. How great that would be!!

I would like that big shiny medal at the end of the race and the goodie bag with all the free stuff and the massage that I would treat myself to the next day because of course I would be deserving of it. I would have loved it all. But especially DOING it.

But I would have hurt. And maybe I would've injured myself worse or maybe not.

But here's one thing I do know: I WILL RUN A MARATHON!!!

It just won't be tomorrow... :)

A Beautiful Day in San Jose!!

Saturday morning we left bright and not that early for San Jose. Daryle was doing conferences all day at church on Saturday, and then preaching Sunday morning, and since I had a 3-day weekend, which is rare and therefore cherished, we decided to make it an overnight trip! We found a great hotel that truly caters to large families, so we packed up the kids and set off for a great adventure! (We need more of you, family hotels!!)

The kids and I stayed for worship and the first session, then took off to get some lunch and explore the area a little bit. And let me just say, San Jose is really cool! I had planned to take them to a really great children's discovery museum that I'd heard a lot about, but time didn't really allow for it, so we're saving that for another day. I discovered an amazing shopping center full of inviting stores called Santana Row, but sadly my children do not have the "skills" it takes to enjoy shopping. (And by skills I mean the fortitude to calmly walk around and NOT destroy every neatly displayed stack of whatever they come across in the afore-mentioned stores.)

We did find a gorgeous park that was just calling for the Smith kids to come romp around in it, and they were more than happy to oblige!! We went back to church for the last session and closing worship and then went out to eat. WE LOVE TO GO OUT TO EAT!!!

Daryle had been wanting to go to Tony Romas for awhile, and we'd never been to one, so we were pretty excited to find one just down the road from the church! Ribs, filet medallions, shrimp scampi, loaded mashed potatoes... The.Perfect.Meal. :)

We went back to the hotel room and had every intention of hanging out, doing something fun, but we were soooo exhausted!! I last remember looking at the clock and it said 8:38... Pathetic!!! I beat my own children to bed.

We love you, San Jose!!! Can't wait to visit again!!!

If You Build It, They Will Climb It!!

Swim, Swam, Swum

Can you tell my kids LOVE to swim!? Here's the horrible part - I almost didn't pack their suits! Terrible, I know, but I just thought 78 degrees would be too cold to even think about hopping in the pool... I know, sounds ridiculous even as I type it, considering they swim outside in January when it's 35 degrees.

Anyway, Sunday morning dawned very overcast and chilly, like every other day in the Bay area, and we went downstairs for a delicious breakfast buffet, grateful for the fact that we had requested a late check out at 3:00. We thought we would just relax in our room for a few hours, maybe I would go out and get a paper, clip some coupons, watch a movie... But THEN! Here came the sun in all it's glory!! And my gaggle of children were now BEGGING to go out and swim! (sigh) So I left my still sleepy husband in a quiet dark room to take another nap before church, wrapped myself in a blanket and headed out to the Arctic. (Have I mentioned that I really only like to swim if it's HOT?!?!!?)

Well I guess 78 feels a lot warmer than it sounds. It felt warm and lovely out, and I put on my 50 spf and even splashed around a little bit!! After an hour and a half we headed back up to the room to get cleaned up and packed up to go. Ya'shar fell asleep almost as soon as he got out of the shower!! That swimming stuff is hard work...

It was a long day but an incredibly fulfulling one! Our love for our friends and church family at Joshua Generation is multiplied every day. It's a beautiful thing to see the body of Christ functioning in unity and growing together in their common purpose. Daryle and I were talking recently about how "fellowship solidifies unity" and how having that time together to just "be" and enjoy one another is just as important as worshiping and serving together.

So because of this love for fellowship, we have been planning a pool party for several months for some close friends and neighbors and our church family, and Daryle announced it yesterday at church! We reserved the community pool up here where our children practice for a Saturday in September, and boy are we excited! We know that it can be difficult to make a long trip (2 hours each way) so I was so concerned that not many would be able to come or would even want to try to make the trip. When he asked for a show of hands for how many thought they might try to come, we were thrilled to see so many! HALLELUJAH!!! We're gonna have us a shindig!!!

We have lots of planning and preparing to do, but my heart is full of joy!! I feel as if this gathering together is just symbolic of so many promises of God coming to fruition. When I married my husband 9 years ago, I was elated at the thought of being a minister's wife. I wanted nothing more than to be a help-mate for him and serve along side him, but the picture I had in my mind did not include a 4 hour round trip on Sundays, or having to learn another language in order to effectively minister!

Thank you, merciful God! For showing me again and again that my ways are not yours and that yours are oh so much better! How dare I try to put my limitless God in a neat, concise little box that looks just like everything else, when all God wants to do is shatter molds?!

I just have to chuckle... God hasn't done anything "normal" in my life in the past 9 years, why do I keep looking for normal??!! What God would take a black man, put him with a white wife, and plunk them down in the middle of a Hispanic church?? OURS WOULD!!!!! And I'm so grateful He did!!

So here's what will be happening with me in the next couple months... God, again, in His infinite wisdom, has opened a door for me to take some Medical Spanish classes through my work (which are FREE!!!) and this will start in October. Between now and then, (and after) I will be making every effort to utilize ALL of my resources, and praise God that I have a lot of them, to learn the language enough to be able to converse fairly effectively. The need is there equally for me to learn at my job as well as for our ministry, and I'm delighted for the opportunity to improve and excel in both areas!

I am around the language enough and hear it enough and am comfortable speaking it, that I know that this is something that I can and will do, but not by my own strength! Please pray for us as this journey continues!!! We'll keep you posted!!

Dios te bendiga, Amigos!!!

"Steal, Kill, and Destroy"

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10: 10

Have you ever noticed that when you're facing a trial (in other words, you're engaged in spiritual warfare) that the more you focus in on over-coming, the more you pray for healing, break through, or deliverance, and the more you seek to be saturated with the very presence of God, that's when it all just seems to get worse...

I've noticed a recurrent theme recently in the body of Christ, not myself excluded, who are in the midst of over-coming something significant, and it feels like they "just can't catch a break"... But we know that in fact just the opposite is happening!! And we know this because:

The enemy only wants to steal that which is valuable, he only wants to kill that which has life, and he only wants to destroy that which has the potential to dismantle his kingdom of darkness. So we pray, and he plants thoughts of discouragement. We press in, and he presses back. We pray harder, and now he's worried. We get on our knees and now he's really mad. We fast, and that's it, now it's all out war!

Keep going!!!! It means you have arrived at a place where God now has the opportunity to show Himself strong in your life! And THAT will be a blessing to others!! The trials we face sometimes are not only for our own growth and benefit, but for other's as well. They see us going through a trial and therefore a reason to despair, but we must show them victory in our perseverance!

Lord, show us patience and hope, steadfastness and perseverance, and JOY in the over-coming!! May we never grow weary of calling on your name, certain that you hear our cry!

And Back They Go!!!

Wow! First day down, only _______ left to go!! I don't even know how many!!! But today was certainly a success. Started out a little rough, but smoothed out nicely. :) You know, the typical things like "Ni'ke changing her clothes FOUR times and Ma-lak spilling an entire bowl of cereal over the kitchen table and floor and then there was the noise/excitement level that was hard to tame down... New year, same routine!!

This year the school sent out a letter requesting that the kindergarten parents stay ALL DAY with their kids to help transition them and help out at lunch time and also to see how a typical day would go. Since this is my fourth kindergarten "experience", I wasn't real keen on the idea of being there ALL day, but thankfully today was a minimum day and school let out at 12:20! I was actually glad that I stayed and could see how Ya'shar was going to do. He is of course a high energy little boy - not unlike his older brother - but was able to reel himself in after a look from his teacher if he got too cranked up. Mrs. Corwin is awesome!! She let me know today that she would be having some 1st graders in her class too, to accommodate the changes that have taken place in the system as a result of state budget cuts. And Rea's teacher was actually told just a few days ago that she would be teaching at a whole different school, and had to move her stuff across town in like a weekend, and barely was able to get her class room together in time!

I've been getting a better understanding the last couple years of how the teachers are doing, trying to cope with all these changes and I sympathize with the challenges they face to still be effective teachers in spite of a severe lack of resources. For example, I couldn't hardly believe my eyes when I looked at the school calendar for this school year, so many 3-4 day weekends, an entire WEEK off over Thanksgiving, and for the holiday break they are off Friday Dec 23rd and don't have to go back till Monday January 10th! At first you think, "Wow, that's great they have all this time off!" But then you realize that the teachers have fewer days available to them to still teach the children the same amount of work, if not MORE, because the children are as a whole doing worse every year. The teachers love the vacations, too, but feel the pressure to do more with less time in which to do it.

It's for these very reasons that Daryle and I almost made the decision to home school this year! In fact we DID actually enroll Ma-lak into a public home school program called K12 through California Virtual Acedemy and were planning to keep him home for a little trial run, but decided at sorta the last minute that that may not be the best thing to do. It would've been difficult with me working full time and Daryle taking classes himself this fall. We haven't ruled it out for future years, in fact they ALL may be home schooling next year unless we move to a different district, but for now they are all together and in school, and we feel good about the decision!

Rea told us that she looooves her teacher and thinks that just maybe she is the best teacher EVER! I reminded her that she says that every year about ALL of her teachers, and she said, "But I really mean it this time!" Ni'ke is so easy, too... She and Rea both. They're teachers call them "natural students" - the kind that never give them any trouble and just love school and everything that goes with it, and learn new things quickly. (Whew. Well at least we don't have to worry about HALF of them!)

Looking forward to a great school year, and hopefully each year will just get better and better! Please pray with me for all the teachers and faculty everywhere who play such an instrumental role in our childrens' lives, that they will have the time, tools, and resources they need to do their jobs to the best of their abilities, and that our children will thrive despite the challenges that are bound to come.

Four Kids, a Husband, and Five Guys

Yesterday we were out for a drive. Just driving around. Had no place to go, really. It was the last day of "freedom" for doing such things on a whim because school starts today, you know.... (sigh)

Anyway, back to the drive. We were ALL over Santa Rosa, and the kids were laughing and cracking us up, and Daryle said, "Hey, ya wanna burger?" I thought about it for 2.3 seconds and said, "As a matter of fact, I do!" So he said he knew just the place. I had NO idea there was a Five Guys Burgers and Fries in Santa Rosa!! Apparently they just opened this past February, but anyway, there they were with all their peanuts and burgers and there WE were, hungry and ready to eat them! (David's been talking about this place for months, so I was excited to call and tell him I actually ate there.)

We had a ball. Ate outside in the gorgeous sunshine. Watched the wind blow our napkins away. Listened to our children laugh and shoo at the pigeons. Wasn't anything really special about what we did, but it was one of those moments of deep contentment when you just feel so... GRATEFUL! I looked at my husband, enjoying his Cajun french fries, and I could tell he felt it too. I didn't even say anything, and he nodded at me and said, "I know. It's good."

So after Five Guys, we ended on Cold Stone Creamery, because, why not??!! :) It was a good day.

And now it's Wednesday morning, and in about 5 minutes, the alarm will go off (Yes, obviously I'm already up, since 5:00 am actually.) and all FOUR of my little people will hop out of bed, excited for the adventure that is the first day of school!! Pictures to follow on that later!!

PS I loved Five Guys, but I like In-N-Out better.....

Diving Buddies

The kids have no swimming all next week as everyone gets ready to head back to school. (I'm sorta relieved for the break...) And technically they don't have to swim this week, but the coaches told us parents that it was optional if the kids wanted to come and practice their dives or their turns or swim strokes.

And since my children would never survive being out of the water that long, Daryle's been taking them all week! He's been taking videos so I can see their progress and so they can see themselves to know how to correct certain things. It's very exciting to see their dives looking more like dives and not "graceful belly flops"!

Daryle got the thumbs up to start swimming again after his surgery (but only using a kick board) - very cool since he was going a wee bit stir crazy!!

And hmmm.... a family that swims.... Been thinking about taking up the sport myself! My knees and right hip especially have taken a beating with all the running and marathon training, and I've got a good 50-60 years left of needing to use them! My hip grinds and I feel this "clicking" in my socket with every step I take.... So after the Santa Rosa marathon August 28th (which I had to down grade to a half... boo hoo) I'll make the transition to swimming. I'm thinking a "Splash and Dash" would be right up my alley - swim a mile then run a 5K!! Thankfully there are so many great running clubs and events around here year round to give me lots of options.

And you wanna know a little secret? I've always wanted to swim Alcatraz!! Who knows?! Maybe in a year or two I'll be swimming with the sharks in the Bay!!

Color Blind

Ni'ke brought me this picture the other day. "Oh, how pretty!" I said. "Who are all these people?"

"That's daddy and you and Rea and me!" she said pointing from left to right.

"Oh, sure enough!" I said, chuckling at my red ponytail... I had to ask about my skin color though. So curious about what she would say.

"So Ni'ke, why is Mommy's skin the same color as everyone else's?" I waited for her spiritually profound answer.

"I didn't have a vanilla crayon," she said matter of factly.

Ya'shar's Artwork

So this is a picture Ya'shar drew of our family at the water park. Apparently the green thing in the lower right corner is the water slide... I love his imagination!!

Swim Meet Day #3!!

I stayed home with Ya'shar today and tried to get "back-to-school" stuff organized while Daryle took the rest of the little Smiths back to the final day of the swim meet. They did really well again today and are already looking forward to the next one here in Santa Rosa at Findley next month!! I think for now it's safe to say that they are all "swum out" - it's unheard of that they fall asleep on the short 20 minute drive home... Swim on!