Happy Birthday, Big Guy!

It's sorta becoming tradition for us to be on vacation for Ya'shar's birthday! Just worked out that way the past couple years, but Rea casually mentioned to us that next year she wants to go to Fiji for her birthday since Ya'shar always gets to go on vacation for his. Ummmm, no.

So since we were on the road heading home on Saturday when he turned 4, we had the official "party" the next day after we'd gotten settled and recuperated! For some reason I'd waited around to arrange a cake for him till we were 400 miles away, so I was making all these phone calls last week from the hotel room, trying to find a place that could put Komodo dragons on a cake. That's right. Two komodo dragons fighting each other on top of a cake was his only heart's desire...

Well of course nobody did that, so I finally just said, "Decorate it like a jungle and I'll put my own animals on top!" Seemed like a great idea, but do you think I could find little toy komodo dragons anywhere? NO!!!! So after endlessly searching the aisles of Toys R Us, I decided on jungle animals. I called BACK to the cake place and told them to put "Happy Birthday, Big Guy" on the cake, remembering how before his recent komodo and dinosaur phase, he really liked elephants. Remember the Big Guy elephant pajamas that had their own identity??!!

So we got home, and the elephant was so huge he didn't fit on the cake really, and the giraffe and zebra kept sinking in and falling over! Ah well, the cake was still a success, and our little Big Guy loved his animals.... Mission accomplished!

Walkie Talkie Fun!

I decided that not one more year could go by without the boys knowing the joy of having walkie talkies! So that seemed like the perfect birthday gift for Ya'shar! Daryle got them all set up and showed them how to work them, and then we never saw them the rest of the evening.... :) I found them later for bedtime, one in a closet and the other one under a bed, just jabbering away! "Breaker breaker 1 - 4! What's your 20?!"

Six Flags Magic Mountain

Wow, what a week!!

We returned home this past Saturday from a wonderful family vacation time together! We spent a week in Southern CA, just north of the hustle and bustle of LA. Very beautiful and HOT, and so many great memories! We had hoped to get down to San Diego to see David, but he's taking summer classes and in a studying "groove", so we'll save that for another trip!

After our visit to Disneyland last summer, we knew that amusement parks were always going to be a big part of our family fun together, so we headed to Six Flags!! The tricky thing was that Ma-lak and Rea are over 48" and Ya'shar and Ni'ke are just barely over 42", so it limited who could ride what! Daryle isn't much of a "rides guy" anyway, and I HATE the ones that spin you in continuous circles, so we had a good compromise most of the time on who rode which ones with which kids! Needless to say, we all slept VERY well that night! (And I managed to not throw up once!)

Giggly Girls

This was such a fun and special trip for all of us, but Rea and Ni'ke especially seemed to enjoy themselves! They were absolutely inseparable the whole time, and everything was such an adventure for them! They played so well together and made up their own little games and basically giggled then entire week!

Six Flags Hurricane Harbor

This was such a fun water park! They added a new play area geared towards smaller children and it was the perfect place for them to be! By the end of the day we even had Ya'shar going down the water slides!!

Pool Time!

As warm as it was, we spent a lot of time in our hotel's pool! It was actually a very nice one, but I only wish it was a bit more shallow on one end for the kids to enjoy a little better. (The rate they're growing, this won't be a problem much longer!)

Vallencia Town Center was this gorgeous outdoor shopping/dining area close to where we stayed. They had tons of stuff to see and do, including a big movie theater, where we finally got to see Toy Story 3!! Cute movie! Oh, and we discovered an amazing frozen yogurt place called Red Mango (the pomegranate yogurt was out of this world!!)

Happy 7th Birthday, Ma-lak!!!

Ma-lak turned 7 years old on Monday!!!! My, how time flies.... Seems like a few months ago I was posting pictures of an Incredible Hulk cake, and now somehow we're on to dinosaurs. The cake, by the way, is from a local Food Maxx bakery, and was sooooo yummy! Gotta love that light, airy whipped cream frosting!! (I've been on a little cake-making sabbatical! Been pretty busy lately!! I plan my return with a fabulous anniversary/birthday cake for Daryle in September!!!)

Ma-lak's only request for his special day was cheeseburgers for dinner. We were only too happy to comply!

Happy Birthday, to our young man! You are growing into such a handsome and strong and courageous young man of God! We love you!

In Memory of Baby Ya'cad

Ya'cad and Ma-lak Smith

For any parent who's ever lost a child, my heart goes out to you, and I can only pray that God has blessed you and surrounded you with love and comfort in the form of friends, family, and His over-whelming presence.

Rarely a day goes by that I don't think of our little one the we lost over 6 1/2 years ago, but there actually ARE some of those days that have passed before I know it, and only later realize (WITHOUT guilt, thank you, Jesus!!) that 24 hours had passed and I wasn't taken back to that painful time. So I smile with joy and gratitude for the healing that has taken place for that to even occur...

One of the hardest things for me in the healing process was conquering that fear of "What if people forget that he existed?" For months, it seemed a dishonor to his memory to not speak of him every time I THOUGHT of him - like I was denying his very existence if I didn't acknowledge aloud that he WAS. All a normal part of the process, I'm sure, but it was a hard thing to let go of - that need to have someone identify with me if we had shared a similar experience or loss. The worst was when I met someone who had twins, or mentioned twins, or anything twin-related - I just couldn't help but think, "I used to have that...." and then had to work it into the conversation somehow that I had lost a son.

I was at a car dealership a few weeks ago taking my car in for a check up. I went in to pay afterward and the guy who drove my car into the work area stopped me, and out of the blue clear sky, he asked me, "Hey, do you have twins?" I felt like my breath had literally just been smacked out of me and for a moment I just froze. My first instinct was to scream, "Yes!!" But I said, "No." Because that was the truth. I DIDN'T have twins, anymore. As soon as I said no, my heart started to ache and I felt the most horrible GUILT!!!!

The man continued on. "Because I saw all those car seats in your car, and your car looks just like ours! We have twins, too!" Again, I said, "No," and died inside a little bit. I hadn't felt pain like this in awhile! Thought I was way past all this, but all of a sudden I was back in that ugly place.

The man and I chatted a few minutes about our children, and then, I just couldn't stop myself. I just had to say it. "You know, we used to have twins, but we lost one." There. It was out, and I felt soooo much better!

Until I looked at his face and saw how uncomfortable he was. "Oh, I'm sorry." he said to the complete stranger who unnecessarily shared something very intimate with him.

I immediately changed the subject, thanking him for his help with my car, and wished him a good day. I turned to walk to my car, mad at myself. "Why did I have to go and mention that!??" He didn't need to know that! All I did was make him uncomfortable...." He wasn't even someone who knew me. He hadn't even KNOWN my son existed, so he didn't fall into the category of hypothetical people who might FORGET he existed. So was all that for his benefit, or mine? Did I have to say something as a reminder to ME that he had lived, because for a moment I'd forgotten??

Well, God is so merciful. He gently nudges us when we feel fragile, yet are still in need of a tender reminder. "My child, YOU know he existed, and you'll see him again. Just hold him in your heart and be at peace. Your night sorrow has turned to morning joy a long time ago!"

sigh....

And so it is. Yes, we had another beautiful son once, and he was taken from us. And then God in His extravagant love healed our broken hearts, and even saw fit to make us parents again three more times! How very blessed we are!

Every birthday that we celebrate with Ma-lak, I always wonder, "What if Ya'cad were still here, too?" Well, maybe I wouldn't know the extent and depth of God's love for us that we know now, how He extraordinarily covers us with his grace and mercy and gives us HIS strength when we have none of our own. We wouldn't know that it IS possible to get through to the other side of something so unimaginable, and still feel joy when you get there. Someone said to me once that losing a child is something you never get OVER till you reach heaven, but you can get THROUGH it on earth - only by the grace of God.

Thank you God, for your healing that is so complete and so finite! We are forever grateful for the blessing you gave us in allowing us to have Ya'cad, and we will always celebrate the anniversary of his birth, and that he WAS!!!

Backyard Birthday Camp Out!!!!

Today Rea turned 6 years old. We went to Walmart and to Target and she told approximately 37 people that it was her birthday. She was VERY excited!!!

This has been such a great week, home with the kids and just relaxing and doing whatever,whenever. The pool, the gym and Walmart seem to have been our favorite hot spots! So the last big adventure of our week off together has been crescendo-ing towards us with great speed and much anticipation: "The Tent"!! (dunt dunt dunt DUUUUNNNNN!!!) We finally got our tent, and it's a beauty... (Thanks again Grandma and Aunt Mandy!)

I was kinda wondering how it'd go putting it up, it's been awhile... But I was assured by the sender of said tent (AKA Aunt Mandy) that "It'll be a breeze, you can do it by yourself, and it won't even take 10 minutes." Hmmmm.... OK. So just to make sure I had the evidence, I timed the "tent raising" and it took 38 1/2 minutes. Now, I realize that's probably a long time to some of you expert tent put-er uppers, but I had 4 times more "help" than I thought I actually needed! They acutally really did help me and did a great job! (Mandy was still appalled it took me that long, by I think that was a fabulous first-run time! Love you, Sis! And yes, that's my happy dance.)

Nope, I didn't make the cake. (sigh) Opted for a Baskin Robins ice cream cake this time and it was a huge hit with all of us! Haven't had one of those in about a decade, and my how I've missed that place! We stopped to pick up the cake this afternoon and had to stay and have ice cream cones with "magic" sprinkles while we were there. They really were quite specatular sprinkles, changed colors and everything while we ate them!

It is now 8:43 pm, still not really dark yet, but the kids have been declaring they are soooooo tired and have wanted to "go to sleep" since 7:00 pm. (That never happens, only if there's an exciting new tent to sleep in... They are NOT tired in the least!)

Tomorrow Daryle and David get home, (missing those guys like crazy!) I go back to work, and WOW the week went fast!

Thanks, God, for such a special day and WEEK, I love that you love me so much to give me these awesome children who are so unique, so special, so delightful and so delighted in every new thing they see and do. Blessings abound!!